so, i clearly dont write here anymore... but instead of quitting altogether... i will make this my recipe central

so, when im famous....and needy for a new project... i can look back and all i will need to do is print &publish and i have a new cookbook ready to go!
its a goldmine


... hey it worked for oprah...


Recipe for: FIESTA DE ARROZ
prep time- <5 minutes
serving- for two, or yourself, and then yourself again tomarrow
you will need: a pan, a microwave, and i guess anything you eat with
Ingredients: chickpeas/veggie-sausage/rice/advocado

First treat your fry pan with some extra virgin olive oil

Next crumble two morningstar fauxage patties up and sautee in pan with a half can of garbanzos and some garlic (a meager spoonful, a pinch, a scant pinch....or a truckload, whatever you like)

do that up right for a few minutes whilst preparing the advocado

advocado- cut in half and gently spoon out the pit

Next, with a packet of uncle ben's garden vegetable rice:
cut the bag and microwave it on medium for 2 and a half minutes

When rice is done, put in bowl and mash half of the advocado into it, making the rice a little green
Next, pour in fauxage etc from pan and top off with the other half of advocado sliced

bon apetite!

note: when will i stop crying about you?



so, im in bumblefuck pennsylvania at my horn prof's house dogsitting (and frogsitting and bunny rabbit sitting)
shit, the frog is freddie... the bunny is like herb and the dog is named ranger.
well... ranger could eat me between meals in a bite and a half.
so, as you can imagine... our relationship is a balance struggle between me fighting to be the alpha-male, and he being a grizzly-sized beefy-breathed rhino of a dog.

last night i was about to lock MYSELF in his cage so that he couldnt eat me while i slept!
so, anyway... i wake up to let ranger out at 6, sleep again til 10
and he goes out for a pee 2 more times before the 11:00am disaster
where he ran away.

and, this dog is on a remote control- it will send super high frequencies as a warning if he misbehaves and an electric 15 voltage shock if he really misbehaves ie. eats the vegetable garder/ thier preteen daughter, caitlyn...

jesus that was a 45 minutes of hell looking for this damn thing. oh and by the way, did i mention im in bumblefuck? there are about 10 deer living in the backyard, ya know, just grazing and shitting and whatthefuck. so, i had to play a little Wheres Waldo in the back acreage.....
damn Ranger.


anyhoo, here i am. just had some wheaty almond and rasberry maple french toast. i swear, its like being locked in the trader joe's supermarket.

anyway, now that ranger is in the doghouse, literally...i can sit on the couch without being pelted with rubber toys.... and enjoy some quality time on youtube watching reruns of the ellen show and archive sinead o'connor videos.....concerts by ex-spice girls... ya know... quality shit!

haha
so, if anybody reading feels like co-running a farm with me this weekend, respond promptly! ill greet you with a goatcheese salad, mmm lunch?

oh yeah, and pizzicato is living in the bathroom and she shit all over the bathtub... thats it. what kind of farm am i running here. this dog is barking, and what the hell is better?let him out in the RAIN when i have to wipe down muddy paws everytime he comes inside because of white carpet? christ, hes been out 4 times before noon...
i pissed once!
ugh

peace out

i just need to write ....something
fuck academia, something... for me
i hate not having some kind of papertrail of my days because i dont trust my memory

family
emu
cruisin'
beers
lady love
portfolio
oh i am not in the mood to write anymore. make a record of THAT, court

yeah... im happy.

Kjobullen (2:17:56 AM): hi Co, what about the bill for next semester?
What about the paper work for your car... the head rests!!
What about the paper work for your camera?
Did you forget we need all of these things?
Dad was ranting and raving tonight.
wunderw0myn (2:17:57 AM): !
wunderw0myn (2:18:17 AM): okay
Kjobullen (2:18:25 AM): what does that mean?????????????????
Kjobullen (2:19:01 AM): dad says that maybe you do not plan to go back to college next semester...
Kjobullen (2:19:53 AM): SEND ME THE BILL THROUGH MY E-MAIL
TOMORROW IS DECEMBER 1ST AND IT IS DUE IN DECEMBER...GOOD NIGHT
Kjobullen signed off at 2:20:11 AM.

wierd.
my body is in such a bad cycle!
i didnt sleep more than an hour tuesday, observation 6am wed. and i didnt get back from rehearsal in penn til 1130 then stayed up studying with neil until codknowswhen and then we didnt even wake for the exam....
just to find out that they didnt take it today.. and that also our prof is taking us to dennys for breakfast next week! grrrreat!
so, vag monologues auditions were this week and i get to talk about vaginal mutilation on stage yippee!and there are lots of concerts and tests and deadlines and i just wanna say
FUCK IT.
anyway, i took some of linds' ADD meds and they made me so bitchy! later, i got really focused and it helped me transpose the horn part (a tritone and an octave!!!) ... and i had never counted my rests so accurately in the beethoven 7!
so, it wasnt all bad
i just had a rough time in the beginning, with feeling mean and low..... i might just need a little bit of time to clear my body of all these little experiments im conducting on it!!!
cant wait for this sememster to end...really... i cant even pretend that im not sick of seeing the same people day after day, they dont care about me i dont care for them...i do not feel good about home. i think im gonna stay in pennsylvania over break. i lost my room key last night in penn, theyre gonna charge me a $50 lock change like hell!
bitching is bringing me RIGHT down
i also smashed my toe badly tonight
made me cry a little
end: negativity
begin: tonal regina music and some music theory paper

i cant keep up with this journal anymore
my days arent exactly fittted for lined paper either
i think a fingerpaint dry erase board would be on the right track...

jen is on the breakuptrain
blunt said its like tipping a refrigerator
yeah, maybe it is...
momentum....
aw shucks
i had a dream.. and remembered it today!

(p.s. that hasnt happened.... in.... a long time....)
here it is.
and i dont even really need to analyze it further... its pretty strong and detailed;

i was fixing the moped/motorcycle annex to my car??? out in the driveway of a fictional house with jen. we were getting kinda cold maybe so we went inside. linds called and said she would come up if she had a place to stay over, i said of course, theres room in my house. We would have to wait for linds to drive here. jen and i were relaxing in the family room with stan and my mom. (jen is always there and i know that, she is sorta the constant in this dream) so anyway, we are just conversing with stan and ma about these new music cd's we bought when i see above stan's head in a windowsill of some sort laura sitting there looking at me. i start to freak out.. i did NOT expect to see my ex in my house...my eyes dart around, she mouths to me not let my mom see her, so i take my eyes away from the window sill where she is crouched... i hear plastic bag rustling coming from where laura is... i try to ignore... i hear my name whispered... i have to give attention to that side of the room.... stan leans up and says something like "well lookie here! who is gonna introduce me to the lovely lady in the window!" before i look at my mother i take laur by the hand and we go to my room in the basement, jen too.... We are now in my room, sitting on my bed. laura saddles up to me and tells me that she is going to use my body to make her cum. i play along... i close my door, put on some music and dim the lights. i sit on the edge of the bed and laura, standing in front of me, parts my legs with a dildo. it is silent as she begins to fuck me. i start to lose myself, so i throw her on my bed and climb on top. i put the other end of the dong in her and we begin to fuck eachother. either after we had both cum or before i dont konw, i removed myself from her and walked over to put the lights on, the dildo is still in her. i get worried that my mom will walk in on us, i sit back on the bed, and a moment later, the door opens and mother walks in...i bullshit something about how we were all listening to the new music and how the new beautiful harmony was about to begin.. jen and laur listen intently.. and the next track was a loud drum mix.... so my story was shoddy and she knew it... thats the end.

it was a nap in jens room today after her lil sister mindy's sweet sixteen tea party!
which was cute

im tired thinking about this week. I feel disconnected. the orchestra concert yesterday was the bombdiggidy. i seriously love music after nights like that.. i couldnt imagine not performing!

i miss my outgoing and emotionally self reliant nature that i seemd to tapped into while alone in europe....
i keep singing? this one accordian lick from the accordian concerto.. how frustrating

5 albums, 5 dollars: haddenfield:
(in preference order)

1. 'tierra de nadie' Hevia
spanish Asturian bagpipe player with celtic roots plays folk.
2. 'Songs in the key of biotch'- that 1 guy
i probably cant describe him, you probably need to hear him.. but i knew it was him when i saw 'weasel potpie'
3. 'no mermaid'- sinead lohan
beautiful lady, beatiful lyric- shes got my hair...
4. 'Ravel' chicago symphony orch-
jen's choice
5. 'lesson #1'- stoley P.T.
the entirety of the cover art is cats and bongs...looks very low budget... song called catbong... has nothing to do with either.

**bonus treats**

BluntDoctorSmoke (4:17:17 AM): but, i cant recommend the latinas highly enough. a rican was my first, and i hope a rican sponge nurse is my last.
BluntDoctorSmoke (4:17:23 AM): ..maybe dominican.


Kjobullen (2:58:12 AM): Oh I burned 2 CDs all by myself just now. It worked. I imported them, then burned them....with no help
Kjobullen (2:58:46 AM): hey, aren't you proud of me????
Kjobullen (2:59:14 AM): HELLO, DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID???
Kjobullen (2:59:54 AM): WELL, I THINK IT IS A BIG DEAL, SORRY YOU DON'T.
Kjobullen signed off at 3:00:05 AM.

MONSTER TRUCK!!!!
aahhhh
that shit was soooo crazzzzy!!
took a hay ride too... but... that was marginally freaky and majorly a huge shameless plug for a low-buget myspace-using beetlejuice impersonater.....
all in all- great night.
okay! jen is back. and golly! am i happy again!

she loved coming home to her lingerie hung all over the walls... she really did!
i ate the best sunday tonight.... maybe because it IS sunday....

i wish i was watching a scary movie right now.

i loved having shim here...oh and michael! what a cutie overload




i gottta get back to that homework! ill finish this with some insight....probably never

okay
so. somebody must have been tampering with my ipod because for over an hour my ipod (on random shuffle) played every song that made me think of you.
and it wasnt subtle either.

i know there really wasnt a way that could have happened naturally...but it did. and it threw me for several loops. i nearly ran myself off the eliptical this morning!

okay, anyway. this room is SOOOO disorderly. i miss my roomie! (the previous two thoughts are un-related. jen in NO way is cause for cleanliness!)
but its gotten worse because i havent periodically cleaned...in the past week
i think michael is coming to be my temporary roomie
that will be wonderful!
WONDERFUL!

i went down to rutgers last night with shannon to his frat thing... gosh! we are such old women! we were in that basement for a hot minute and were like FIRE HAZARD so we got out! saw mikey, it was wierd... to see him interact with mike...
i guess the inverse of intimate is bitchy?
all-in-all the night was... less than stellar
but i was interesting to see him in his gamma sigma element

i dont like frats.
i think they are primal highschool cliques with more power.

anyway. im d-f'ing a class, i got a notice. grrreat. so i should go find out which it is. interestingly enough it could be a number of courses!

the first full thought i heard this morning by an elderly man- passerby- was: the length of your life is materialistic. can you measure in quality?

just a note: the sound of the irish language is very soothing to me....i think i should just get a grammar tape to lull me to sleep.

i got a full night of sleep and damn i feel good.
last night's rendesvois with bluntdoctor to taco bell was.... enlightening.....
he and i fucked around with jen's part of the room... and considering that she may infact be reading this from new mexico now... i wont say just how....

yesterday was a WHOLE LOTTA plugging dinkles shoes and zildjian cymbals and making airgrams to alyssa to tell her to blow that clarinet! break a leg and mom-mom and pop-pops love her! over the stadium loudspeaker.. hahah, amity and i were the official USSBA 2006 band festival announcers! ...
i used my boomy voice, and it made me official... except when i burst out laughing and was repremanded for snickering

anyway. campus is gorgeous, this is the sweet part of year when the colors are most varied and vibrant.... makes me want to paint the trees.... and sip cider..
i think ill go home for a bit.. im teaching a couple classes tomarrow and ugh! one wednesday too... i wonder if i'm growing into this life already?

oh and here are a few beautiful pics from the other night at stan's place....

jen challenged me to shave my armpits into my initials....besides the B getting fucked up.. i also did it in a mirror... so it got fucked up

that night was ridiculous, i just played dress up with myself....
:insert pg photos of dressup in the room:
(not that theyre all rated r, but lj doesnt support the type of file my computer camera uses, and i dont care enough to resave them, you wanna see jen and i dress up, come over some night or ask to see some classy photos)

yesterday was kinda crazy too, i am sore, and i think i was throwing myself around a bit last night....

so
i felt very fulfilled after todays performance at lower merion symph, it was great, the dvorak sounded amazing.
music can be so rewarding....
aaaand i was corageous with the cellist woman!
ate at peace-a-pizza....
tried for philly to get nose studs... but theyre closed...

whatever
wonder if thatll happen
today was payday! so it jsut might!

i feel cornered by emotion... im trying to confront it.... but there seems that theres no way out, just up or down
and i cant decide which will work out!
"im on a mile high cliff with nothing but a sigh and a what if"

-------
"i want a woman who's sanity is stretched thin but remains intatct. i want a woman who can respect a fact, while flirting with fantasy."
-pandorascooter

just sittin here
bullshitting with jen
wearin nothing but a wedding dress and a smile
good music
good insense
pizz is sleeping

woke up at what i thought was 6am but was actually 10.21
missed my exam
then took it for like 3 hours straight

yeesh
didnt go to ootb tonight... i miss it... dinner with parents....
i dont feel like writing anymore

yum! melanie safka... regina spektor's mother generation....

so
jen is on the phone with tibet.
what a fucking freakshow
"oh, but i am attracted to asian people...."
i cant believe what good roomates we are
shes going to new mexico with an insurance salesman next week.
i can't pretend that its normal.


wow. so anyway.
this weekend was a good one i suppose...
i saw eddie saturday
i met him for the first time in some ways

i spent sat and sun with carol anne. she dolled me up for a frat, and we ended up haning out with the didj at brit's house... not quite the party carol is used to, but it was good times anyway. christmas music usually gets me in the mood.

today was just a perfect toolaroundprincetonandtakenapsonthesidewalkinthesun kinda day.

im sick. real bad in the nose sick.

i should just make livejournal posts about all the incessant things my roomates says......
infact. i feel like i should just make a new account for that kind of malarky.

i am a bit overwhelmed. the whlem is large these days.
i dont know how to compensate.

becuase im happy with the new picture feature ill find one on my computer to compliment this dull post.



i saw a buck last night prancing around campus.
it was the kind of thing where you close your eyes and open them-
- with the belief that you wont see it ever again.
the deer was real and really there
it wasnt the drink!
no beer deer here....
like the way bambi finds herself in my drunken fancies
i hope the little dude found home.

i almost killed myself and three passengers today on 206 avoiding a beaver in the roadway.

ill be up much much longer. i bought the elvis christmas album. im putting that in.
............and the red hot and blue aids benifit dvd. mostly becase of sinead and k.d.'s contributions.
if anyone is in dire need of shit to watch on dvd- where every song is desparaging and about the effective use of condoms- with an introduction by richard gere about sharing needles....
contact me.

rufus tonight
was an audio massage

im very anxious about tomarrow
kinda sickeningly so

danielle is such a good friend to me
she knows all about albatrosses

i can decide whether im here or there
but its nice to have you near me

i cant get focused!!!!
i skipped class....
im fasting .. im not even jewish! just so i could save time by not eating so i can write this paper in time!
its counterproductive... im just brushing my teeth alot more, i imagine my toothpaste is candy and sandwiches


im so far from done. i have maybe 5 more pages to crank out...
i just keep touching my nipples and doing othe ridiculous things like make a potpouri display for the bathroom out of sambuca dipped cigars... oh gosh.

i listened to an entire opera while sitting here
ive fallen alseep
i peed at least 5 times today
ive been here for HOURS.

where is jen!!!
i need visitors or a professional paper writing motorcycle gang to whisk me away.

aaak.
this wasted about 5 minutes, perfect. i guess my break for now is up, but thats okay, i promised myself a 5 minute break every 4 minutes work.
this is no tyranny up in here. keep the people happy.

oh shit
i just thought i heard a fire drill
id be so pissed
that would have ruined my flow..............

my vagina did this all on her own yesterday. i forgot a tampon and found out i was bleeding heart....on my undies.

i did that twice yesterday
i also bled a little heart from my ear piercing at the bar, neil took a photo eating it....



im so mixed up, i ran superfluous mental-miles all night.... ah... it was nice to see some familiar faces



..hey remember that time when....

nights like these

its all about arousing perspective
-all about sharing the experience.

yeah, im still confused, and he's still not as conflicted as i would like,
and i am still more conflicted than i'd like....


but i can handle this confusion
i can read it in eyes of others
we're all a bit tangled-
with no promise of unfolding.

its all so human

is about the experience...
and sharing nights like these

i am
a bit colder than i was
the night before
when ordered
and delivered
savored
and flavored with
sauces
fresh
and hot and sweet.

(something you'd want your lips to meet)

i'm picked over
forked over
rearranged
and left.

sealed in plastic,
lid on top
put on the second shelf

im orangy...
...sticky
vegetarian friendly

sprinked with sesame
i crunch and stick in your teeth

just bitesized,
and set aside.
and you know just why


because-
no one has got an appetite
the morning after...

i feel like leftover chinese food in the fridge because
i'm too much to take in one sitting.

i feel like running away
but i wont

i couldnt anyway, my muscles are too tired.
the loop run is for pros and i am not one of those

ill let my pen do the walking
and ill keep these words to myself
because ive done enough
put enough outside of me
that i have no ownership of it anymore

by the way, the lust was erased on the door down the hall, it now it reads love
again
as if i never touched it


maybe i need a new car too
the clutch is slipping
(and the gas-meter)
but its so god damn cute!
i couldnt live in any other car?
maybe i need to become a biker


peace.

Kjobullen (12:19:40 AM): goodnight, I loved you
WunderW0MYN (12:20:02 AM): love you
WunderW0MYN (12:20:08 AM): LOVED ME?
WunderW0MYN (12:20:09 AM): NOT LOVE ME?
Kjobullen (12:20:41 AM): my hand slipped (hope it was not a Fraudian slip!
Love ya baby
WunderW0MYN (12:21:29 AM): yikes.


today>

accomplishments: 1. laundry 2. friended ben 3. okcupid profile haha 3. good brunch 4. shower 5. dollar store shopping 6. learned alma mater on guitar

nonaccomplishments: a. bookstore b. gym c. dinner d. work e. the pool f. much of anything useful

blah blah blah
i feel in the workin kinda mood
see yah